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BRIEFS v BOXERS by Nigel Dean

Today I changed the habit of a lifetime.  I’ve always been a briefs man but driving in the car this afternoon the area round my bollocks got so hot I wanted to rip my pants right off and drive the rest of the miles ahead naked.  To do so, of course, could  well have landed me in front of the local magistrate with some awkward explaining to do so I suffered in silence.  Instead on the way home I called into the shops and picked up a couple of pairs of boxer shorts. Pierre Cardin - how designer can you get ?  (Hang on while I take my tongue out of my cheek.)

I’ll take my tongue out of my cheek but I’ll not take my left hand out of my new boxers while I type.  Plenty of room down here compared to my usual briefs and I’m developing quite a nice boner.  Feels good. I’m busy typing with the right hand and playing with the left.

So what are the merits of the humble underpants in the case of Briefs V Boxers ?

In this case your honor I appear for the briefs and my Learned Friend, Nigel, appears for the boxers.

The case of the briefs is simple.  Briefs form the established male tradition in this country and have served us well ever since the demise of the long-johns.  Balls, and their ever-present friend the noble dick, have long been secure within the fabric of the briefs.  The design of the brief allows for a firm hold and no accidental falling out while forming a man’s tackle into a satisfying bulge at the front of his trousers.  The bum cheeks are kept pinned together so aiding the ever desired development of a cute arse. With that your honor I rest my case.

If it pleases your honor I appear for the case of the boxers.  My case is also simple.  I have been a life-long briefs man but can inform this court that from today I am changing my allegiance to boxers.  It is my submission that the boxers provide a better breathing space for the dick and balls to move and more importantly to grow.  Although my theory can not yet be put to the test I would suggest that if, we as a nation, were to change to wearing boxers we may find our dicks become larger.  With no tight cloth to bind them not only has the dick a better chance to grow and expand but also the balls have more room to fall and hang lower.

I can only say that I wish I had discovered boxers earlier in my life and as a result I would perhaps have a bigger dick.  If ever a survey could be undertaken I would put it to you that the larger dicks will be found within boxers and the smaller inside briefs.

Gentlemen of the jury you have now heard the evidence from the two learned counsel and I must ask you to adjourn to reach a verdict.

So what do you think ?

 

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